In The Attic...

(Blame Patrick's past tables and the guy who came to do our plasterwork)

Apparently it helps the new plasterwork to dry out if we keep the attic hatch open. We didn't know it was open until we came home, and have to leave it until there are no more signs of drying on the walls. How long will that be? I have no idea.

Last night I looked up at it as I was going up to bed, and of course, even though I'm 33 years old, the thought that came to mind was "What if there's something up there?"

No insomnia from worry, but this morning it got me thinking...

What's in the attic?
1. Goblins
2. Ragamuffins
3. Zombies
4. Former owners of the house
5. Ratlings with strange rune-shaped teeth
6. Almost-invisible things, but you can see a big smile

Weirdly...
1. ...they talk like your parents...
2. ...they all wear a filthy rag with your name on...
3. ...they have no eyes...
4. ...they float above the ground...
5. ...they move slowly, silently and in a jerky stop-motion fashion...
6. ...they say that you're their "Mummy"...

...and...
1. ...they're constantly looking around as you try to talk to them.
2. ...they seem quite docile, but lick their lips constantly.
3. ...they're fiddling with something in their pockets.
4. ...they stare at you while saying "Mmhmm, yeah, yeah, mmhmm," to everything you say.
5. ...whenever you look away there is one more of them when you look back.
6. ...you're sure there was one more of them a few minutes ago when you started talking.

They ask you...
1. ...what the time is, and where you keep it...
2. ...if you have a cup of sugar they can borrow...
3. ...how long you were planning on staying...
4. ...if they can just talk to you for two minutes about the coming end of days...
5. ...where you keep your delicious younglings...
6. ...for those years back that you've so far wasted...

...but really what they want...
1. ...are as many teeth as they can carry.
2. ...are spouses.
3. ...is a nice big piece of bloody meat.
4. ...is your life, and they're studying you ready to take turns being you.
5. ...are friends. Will you be their friend?
6. ...is your heart.

They're not actively violent though, whatever they may seem. They tell you...
1. ...it's time for them to leave, this has been nice, you should do it again...
2. ...we can't go yet, we need one more, we need one more...
3. ...there is no escape...
4. ...they know your true name, and smile...
5. ...you'll never know love, even if you think you already do...
6. ...not to worry, there was nothing you could have done differently...

...and...
1. ...that's when they tear their masks off, and they all look like you (but dead).
2. ...they go, but you realise ten minutes later your wallet is gone. And so is the attic hatch.
3. ...everyone else who was in the house is gone, along with the things from the attic.
4. ...they go, but everyone else who was in the house looks at you oddly, head cocked, for the rest of your life.
5. ...they leave the way that they came, but when you go downstairs everyone is a stranger to you.
6. ...you realise that you're one of them, you always have been, and you follow them up into the attic.

OK, now I have worries.