Games Night: Isle of the Unknown

Two weeks ago my brave and Lawful Specialist Charley Shortbread was almost killed by a brutal cut from a lizardman chief; during the session that I was absent from last week he was mostly perched on top of a cart recovering.

So we return to the Isle of the Unknown, and find ourselves meeting up with another shipwreck victim (noisms joined the game), and then proceed to carry out a plan that had been set in motion in our absence: to dispose of some war chimps that had acted as bodyguard to a magically locked safe, and then take the safe to the local castle.

There was some potential crazy background deals going on, but that all went south when we disposed of the bodies at a local churchyard. There was a lot of intra-party disagreement on how to proceed, an NPC civilian got killed (ironically, they were the town's healer, so no recovery at the end of the session!), and both Charley Shortbread and Glister (noisms' PC) had to leave town via the river, then come back around to the main gate, and pretend to be travellers, shipwreck victims, struggling through the night and seeking sanctuary.

Of course, this only worked so far, as Charley was known by the gatesmen (in my absence he had been seen around with our other PC, a swashbuckling and incredibly lucky fighter called Klaus); but the Force was with us, and the gatesmen and everyone else that I met believed that they had met my now absent IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER. From that point on, goodbye Charley, hello Henry. Henry Shortbread.

Cut forward to more disagreements in a dungeon beneath the town, some thief slaughter, Klaus summoning his demon dogs and then falling into a pit trap through carelessness, and Henry and Glister being seriously wounded. We ended the session with just enough good fortune to get XP, some healing, some respect from the towns-people and an idea that all is not as it seems in this strange town... And the head of the castle guards is very suspicious of us (and rightly so).

Memorable Moments from Games Night
Klaus: No-one's going to miss an old woman. Old women go missing all the time.

Charley/Henry: 1HP equates to losing an eye?!

Patrick (DM): I'm gonna be the hippy art teacher DM...

And finally, a moment that perhaps you had to be there for, but which caused a lot of laughter around the table. Remember, we play this in a gaming cafe, i.e., in public. Glister was on -1HP, and I asked Patrick if I could perform any kind of first aid or stabilisation. On the fly (I think) he said that I could, if I described my actions and then shouted "Don't you die on me man!" in a cinematic style.

Me: Really? Like I'm McCoy or something?
Patrick: Yeah, "don't you die on me man!"
Me: OK. So I do this and that and pound Glister on the chest and shout "don't you die on me man!"
Patrick: ...Louder.
Me: What?
Patrick: Louder.
Me: Don't you die on me man!
Patrick: Do you want to save him or not?
noisms: Yeah, do you want to save me or not?!
Me: Sigh.
Patrick: He's not looking good...
Me: DON'T YOU DIE ON ME MAN!
Patrick: Hmmmm-
Me: DON'T YOU DIE ON ME MAN!!!!!!
(Patrick and noisms are both, of course, laughing their asses off by now)
Patrick: ...So, Glister wakes up...